2+2

There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question “How much is 2+2?” The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, “It lies between 3.98 and 4.02.” The mathematician said, “In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof.” The attorney stated, “In the case of Stevenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4.” The trader asked, “Are you buying or selling?” The accountant looked at the business owner, got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door, and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, “What would you like it to be?

Смотреть далее | 12.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Caring Men

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends. Caring Men

Смотреть далее | 11.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Quotes from Stupid

These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world. “That race was all about competition.” – David Coleman, ITV “And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us.” – Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What’s the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services. Mark Goodier: So, what kind of work do they do; is it mining and engineering services? – BBC Radio 1 “Marling – unbeaten in her three victories.” Peter O’Sullivan, BBC2 TV: “Both drivers are fundamentally wearing white helmets.” James Hunt, BBC2 TV: “A church spire nestling among the trees…there’s probably a church there too.” – Richie Benaud, BBC2 TV

Смотреть далее | 10.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

The scottish farmer

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. “I want to repay you,” said the nobleman. “You saved my son’s life.” “No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,” the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel. “Is that your son?” the nobleman asked. “Yes,” the farmer replied proudly. “I’ll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll grow to a man you can be proud of.” And that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming’s son graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin. Years afterward, the nobleman’s son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son’s name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Смотреть далее | 09.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Betty Crocker

One day, a woman came up to her husband and told him that the TV was broken and she was missing her shows. “Does it say cable repairman anywhere on my forehead?” he asked. “No,” she said. A few minutes later she came back and told him that the porch was breaking and it was dangerous. “Does it say carpenter anywhere on my forehead?” he asked. “No,” she said again. A few minutes later, she came back and told him the toilet was backed up. “Does it say ‘plumber’ anywhere on my forehead?” he asked. “No,” she replied. A couple of days later he went on a business trip. When he came back he asked how things had been. “Well,” she said, “our neighbor down the street came over and fixed our TV, repaired our porch and unclogged our pipes.” “What did he ask for in payment?” he wondered. “All he asked for was a chocolate cake or sex,” she told him. “What did you do?” he asked. She looked at him smugly and said, “Do you see Betty Crocker written anywhere on my forehead?” Betty Crocker

Смотреть далее | 08.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Top 10 Universal Truths

10. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. 9. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread. 8. Change is inevitable except from vending machines. 7. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 6. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. 5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 4. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 3. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it. 2. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques. 1. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you. Top 10 Universal Truths

Смотреть далее | 07.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

The rescuing hug

The article details the first week of life of a set of twins, Kyrie and Brielle. Apparently, each were in their respective incubators, and one was not expected to live. A hospital nurse fought against the hospital rules and placed the babies in one incubator. When they were placed together, the healthier of the two threw an arm over her sister in an endearing embrace. The smaller baby's heart rate stabilized and her temperature rose to normal. They both survived, and are thriving, in fact, the two girls went home to share a crib, and still snuggle. The twins are happy kindergartners now. The hospital changed their policy after they saw the effect of putting the two girls together, and now they bed multiples together. Let us not forget to embrace those whom we love and never underestimate the power of a hug! Hug someone today!

Смотреть далее | 06.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Three drunks

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night… look at the moon.” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “That’s not the moon,” he says, “that’s the sun.” They started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk, so they stopped him. “Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?” The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, “Sorry, I don’t live around here.” Three drunks

Смотреть далее | 05.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

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