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| Having a bad day |
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.
He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl, while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming.
She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm - Taken from a Florida Newspaper.
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| Смотреть далее | 02.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Strange Facts That May Be True, part 2 |
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs:but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.( Urban Legend ) Tests ( at the University of Salford in Greater Manchester in 2003 ) revealed that a duck's quack definitely echoes, just like any other sound, but perhaps not as noticeably.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal."
The second was William Jefferson Clinton.
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
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| Смотреть далее | 01.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Always by my side |
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said: “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”
“What dear?” She asked gently.
“I think you bring me bad luck.”
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| Смотреть далее | 31.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Age difference |
What is the difference between girls aged:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, and 68?
At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
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| Смотреть далее | 30.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Grass sandwich |
At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug.”
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.”
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, we call this a kiss.”
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too.”
Toward the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, “In America, we call this a grass sandwich.”
She says, “Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it.”
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| Смотреть далее | 29.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Married men make the best employees |
In a small town in the U.S., there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous… or what?”
“Not at all, ma’am,” the manager replied. “It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”
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| Смотреть далее | 28.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Shake it up |
A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go out with him. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home, he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he’s getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her skirt and she stops him, saying she’s a virgin and wants to stay that way.
“Well, okay,” he says: “how about a blow job?”
“Yuck!” she screams: “I’m not putting that thing in my mouth!”
He says: “Well, then, how about a hand job?”
“I’ve never done that,” she says: “What do I have to do?”
“Well,” he answers, “remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it?” She nods.
“Well, it’s just like that.”
So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts to run out of his nose, wax blows out of his ear and he screams out in pain.
“What’s wrong?!” she cries out.
“Take your thumb off the end!!”
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| Смотреть далее | 27.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Five Dollars |
A man goes into a store and starts looking around. He sees a washer and dryer, but there is no price listed on them. He asks a salesman who says, “Five dollars for both of them.”
“Yeah right, you’ve got to be joking with me!” the man says.
“No, that’s the price,” the salesman says, “Do you want to buy them or not?”
“Yeah, I’ll take them,” the man says. The man continues to look around and he sees a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, speakers, and subwoofers. “How much?” he asks.
“Five dollars for the system, including installation,” the sales guy says.
“Is it stolen?” the guy asks incredulously.
“No,” says the salesman, “It’s brand new, do you want it or not?”
“Sure,” the guy says. He looks around some more. Next he finds a top of the line computer with printer and monitor. “How much?” he asks.
“Five dollars,” the salesman says.
“I’ll take that too!” the man says.
As the salesperson is ringing up the purchases, the man asks him, “Why are your prices so cheap?”
The salesman says, “Well, the owner of the store is at my house right now with my wife, and what he’s doing to her… I’m doing to his business!”
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| Смотреть далее | 26.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
| Strange Facts That May Be True |
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
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| Смотреть далее | 25.01.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям |
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