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Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке (часть 3)

В данном разделе собраны ссылки на анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке, которые легко читаются и доступны для понимания большинству новичков, которые изучают английский. [Часть 3]

1. Too Enthusiastic
2. A little boy
3. A man died
4. Farmer's Tractor
5. 747
6. Reverend
7. Man, Woman, Sleeping Compartment
8. Touchy Feely Cracky
9. Women vs. Vinyl Records
10. At the Pharmacy
11. Put It On Your Organ
12. Sumo Kamikaze
13. Rooster in His Declining Years
14. Toilet Brush
15. Shooting an Elephant
16. Banana Peel
17. The Blonde Fox
18. Making a Confession
19. Ol' McBlondie
20. Blonde haircut
21. Mysterious death
22. What's Worse?
23. Lawyer... Genius
24. Spell L-O-V-E
25. Go Fish
26. Rabbit Breakout
27. Drunken Man and Blonde
28. English Patient
29. Warm and Moist
30. Gloves and Panties
31. Who's the Most Fun to Operate On?
32. Bee Jokes for the Pollen in You
33. S & M
34. Puzzle Pieces
35. B-Day Sex
36. Man Catches Crocodile
37. Signs That You're A Drunk
38. Clock Joke
39. Stumpy and his wife
40. Goose Hunting
41. Smoking in the Rain
42. The Magician and the Parrot
43. Throwing Stuff Down A Mineshaft
44. None For You
45. Hide the Duke
46. Wedding Dress
47. I'm a Barbie Girl
48. Yo mama's so poor... shoe
49. Staring Insult
50. Clinton's DNA
51. Shut-up and Trouble
52. Nerd Season
53. A Small Problem
54. Romantic Pink Slip
55. Shrewd Investment
56. 3 Vampires
57. I See You!
58. Leper Hockey
59. Hole in One
60. Fish Market
61. Highbrow Genital Jokes
62. Law of Cat Inertia
63. Pound for Pound
64. Jedi Nights
65. Hot Doggin'
66. The Feline Diet
67. Adult Swim
68. Finder's keepers
69. Hand me downs
70. The taste of a new generation
71. Dogs and Light Bulbs
72. Horses at the Race
73. Drink up
74. Lay off
75. 10 Things in Golf that Sound Dirty
76. Low self-esteem
77. Tales from the Shire
78. Loud, mad, or sad
79. I often feel guilty
80. Better relationship
81. Emotional extremes
82. 12-Pack
83. Trouble sleeping
84. One Side of a Phone Call between James Bond...
85. Question and answer blonde jokes
86. Rowing Your Boat
87. 69 joke
88. Blonde Car Accident
89. Dog Property Rules
90. Sounds of the Wild
91. Blonde Sky Divers
92. Giving Cats Pills
93. I Want to Buy That
94. Collateral
95. Top Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
96. Pa won’t like that
97. Useful phrases
98. Reincarnation
99. Exciting news
100. Three parrots
101. The way to recognise a company car
102. The blonde joke
103. The blonde joke
104. Sign of the times
105. O’Malley’s last stand
106. Three drunks
107. The pheasant and the bull
108. The rescuing hug
109. Top 10 Universal Truths
110. Betty Crocker
111. The scottish farmer
112. Quotes from Stupid
113. Caring Men
114. 2+2
115. The big shot
116. Eye Exam
117. Fart to The Beat
118. Quotes from stupid, part 2
119. Tiger Woods
120. Bank Teller
121. Self-Appraisal – An Inspiring Story!
122. Country Song Titles
123. Relations - Отношения [rus]
124. Two Ethical Questions!
125. Keep On Singing
126. Honest grandma
127. The differences between you and your boss
128. Strange Facts That May Be True
129. Five Dollars
130. Shake it up
131. Being a dick
132. Married men make the best employees
133. Grass sandwich
134. Age difference
135. Always by my side
136. Strange Facts That May Be True, part 2
137. Having a bad day
138. Einstein’s Chauffer
139. Things Found Only in America
140. First on The Throne
141. Tampon shopping
142. The Old Wise Man!
143. Having a bad day
144. Poor Silver
145. For the sake of decency
146. The jewish joke
147. Jewish Atheist
148. Three nuns
149. The blonde joke

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории (часть 1) | Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории (часть 2)

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке (часть 3)

Смотреть далее | 16.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке (часть 2)

В данном разделе собраны ссылки на анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке, которые легко читаются и доступны для понимания большинству новичков, которые изучают английский. [Часть 2]

1. Tic, Tic, Tic
2. The Test
3. Toilet Paper
4. About Men
5. Go Fly A Kite
6. All About Adam
7. Alimony
8. Better Than Pork
9. You Were Warned
10. Blood Circulation
11. Buying a Horse
12. Going To The Toilet
13. Cow Giving Birth
14. Giggling In Class
15. Legs In The Air
16. Airplane Conversation
17. Asking Mommy
18. Mortgage Problems
19. God's Creations
20. Problems In Maths
21. Nice Children's Tale
22. Train Delay
23. A Wet Whisper
24. Special Trick
25. Balcony Life
26. Innocent Girl
27. Childrens' Minds
28. Sex Positions
29. Name Game
30. Horse Riding
31. Is The Seal Broken?
32. What do you want for Xmas?
33. Cookies
34. I won, is that because...
35. Tampons Wonder
36. Kiwis
37. Wooden leg pig
38. Ireland Crash
39. Fishing
40. Shocked President
41. Curious Indian Boy
42. First Date
43. Snoring Problems
44. What's In A Name
45. Contempt Of Court
46. Tough Mice
47. Trip To Oz
48. 39 Children
49. Reluctant Cow
50. Falling
51. Strong Man
52. Dealing With Snoring
53. Official Visits
54. The Miracle
55. Welcome To Hell
56. Vatican Debate
57. New Son-In-Law
58. Polish Paratrooper
59. Visit To Rome
60. One Last Song
61. The Blind Man
62. Sam The Man
63. Divorce
64. Bad News
65. Water For The Emir
66. Human Monkey
67. Nursing Home
68. Signs That You're Broke
69. Cannibals Meal
70. Old Brake Up
71. IRS Visit
72. Last Request
73. A Day Off
74. Thank Stalin
75. Good Sale
76. New Farmer
77. Camel Questions
78. Landing Announcement
79. Gas Emissions
80. Engineering Students
81. Free Drinks
82. Golf Game
83. Watch Your Mouth
84. No Milk
85. Religious Parrot
86. Turtles At A Picnic
87. Driving With Penguins
88. Don't Answer!
89. Flying Turtle
90. Kinky Parrots
91. Where Are We?
92. Great Britain
93. Lost Cigarettes
94. Not Enough Bread
95. Sugar Cookies
96. The Wrong Way
97. Shrinks' Problems
98. Diving Accident
99. Happy Soldiers
100. $350 room
101. Naked On The Porch
102. 85 Year Old Groom
103. Before It Starts
104. Male Virgin
105. If I Died
106. Not Hungry
107. Woman In The Shadows
108. Birthday Present
109. Bad Weather
110. Stupid Wives
111. Tarazan Having Sex
112. Wandering Dog
113. What Size?
114. Rigged Contest
115. Almost Midnight
116. James Bond's Special Watch
117. Girls' Night Out
118. How Often Man Have Sex
119. New-Born Spaghetti
120. School Play
121. Making A Puppy
122. Brave Cursing
123. What Is Politics?
124. Talking Too Much
125. A Quickie
126. Taking A Leak
127. Doctors Chat
128. Kerry Fan
129. Chores
130. Fatal Accidents
131. Knots And Ropes
132. Brown Balls
133. Emergency Appointment
134. Specimen
135. Confusion
136. Meatballs
137. Cheating Statue
138. Mabster Last Present
139. Falling Asleep
140. Can't Explain
141. A Trip To Mars
142. Perfect Life
143. SuperBowl Seat
144. Superball Fever
145. No Luck With Women
146. Trip To Europe
147. Funny Bumper Stickers
148. Vampire Blood

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории (часть 1) | Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории (часть 3)

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке (часть 2)

Смотреть далее | 15.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке (часть 1)

В данном разделе собраны ссылки на анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке, которые легко читаются и доступны для понимания большинству новичков, которые изучают английский.
1. You know it's going to be a bad day when ...
2. A Guy Walks Into a Bar
3. Birth Control at 72?
4. The Straight Dope On Food, Health, & Exercise
5. Things Kids Should Learn in School
6. Blonde jokes
7. A present for the anniversary
8. Believe in life after death
9. Doctor and a nurse having an affair
10. Joke: Brothel
11. Joke: Working Construction
12. Joke: Tell The Difference
13. Joke: English Lessons
14. Joke: Bra Types
15. Joke: Manhood
16. Joke: Saving For Marriage
17. Joke: Fresh From Jail
18. Joke: Duck Hunting
19. Joke: Husband Calling
20. Joke: Word Test
21. Joke: Say What You Mean
22. Joke: Medical Orders
23. Joke: Golf Funeral
24. Joke: Want A Divorce?
25. Joke: Your'e Beautiful!
26. Joke: Presidental Call
27. Joke: Bee Sting
28. Joke: Riding The Camel
29. Joke: Aliens In Arizona
30. Joke: Corruption Trial
31. Joke: Emergency Landing
32. Joke: Drunk Again
33. Joke: Three Kinds
34. Joke: On A Lonely Island
35. Joke: Going To Iraq
36. Blonde Deodorant
37. At Work
38. I think...
39. Magic Mirror
40. Shopping
41. Teaching A Lesson
42. Union Rules
43. Happy Pharmacist
44. Mouthful
45. Drunk Driver
46. Oklahoma Fan
47. The Daily News
48. Names On The Wall
49. Blonde In Jail
50. Car Problem
51. New Secretary
52. The Interview
53. Fresh Marriage Breakfast
54. Expensive Kiss
55. Saber tooth tigar
56. Patent Leather Shoes
57. Jack Or Jill
58. Dumb Husband
59. Lights On
60. Back Sit
61. Head and Shoulders
62. Sleeping Pills
63. Looking For Cops
64. Nudist Vacation
65. Osama's Valentine
66. Sunday Class
67. Funny Faces
68. Spoiled Mother
69. Good Reason
70. Special Ring
71. Rye Bread
72. Christmas - Getting Into Heaven
73. Impossible Story
74. Black Powder
75. Bad Golfer
76. Angry Shiek
77. Going To Sleep
78. Drinks
79. Golf Balls
80. Devil
81. Who's Child Is It?
82. Obscene Note
83. Strong Pill
84. Driving Award
85. Crappy Story
86. Smart Bribe
87. Italian Vacation
88. Mississippi
89. Where Babies Come From
90. Ed Zachary
91. Deathbed
92. The Coffin
93. Looking Young
94. Holy Water
95. 16 Years Of Meat
96. Waiting For Love
97. Stirring On Mars
98. Nude Driving
99. 3 women in a bar...
100. Nude Tan
101. Labor Pills
102. The Carburetor
103. Slow Driver
104. Cold Hands
105. What Day It Is
106. Red Tomatoes
107. Obstetrician Visit
108. A Doctor's Opinion
109. A Miracle
110. Olympic Condoms
111. Gently Put
112. Like A Woman
113. Harassing Parrot
114. Costume Party
115. Unpredictable
116. Southern Girl
117. Cosmetics Line
118. Pregnancy Question
119. Jamaican Baby
120. Father Of Who
121. Scared Dad
122. Weird Names
123. Pushing It
124. Advanced Medicine
125. Prostate Surgery
126. Tragedy
127. Land of OZ
128. Shark Fishing
129. Whatcha Got There?
130. Torah Scholar
131. Twice The Size
132. Crime Of Thought
133. Chinese Detective
134. Obsessions
135. Vaseline
136. Sitting In The Car
137. New Kilt
138. A close Shave
139. Far East Problem
140. No Pants
141. Little Green Man
142. Rough Day At The Bar
143. College Female Dorms
144. A Blondes Legs
145. Men Ruling
146. Halloween Party
147. 3 Wishes
148. 50 dollars is 50 dollars

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории (часть 2)
Computing is like sex because...
What is Politics? - 2
In the immigration service
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body
I'm speechless
An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years

Анекдоты, шутки и смешные истории на английском языке (часть 1)

Смотреть далее | 14.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

The blonde joke [3]

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well-being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?”

The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”

“I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day? We aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.”

The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. “If you need anything, just let me know,” he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, “Are you going to be OK? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No,” replies the blonde, “I just got a call from my twin sister, and she said that HER mom died too!”

The blonde joke

Смотреть далее | 13.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Three nuns

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said: “I was cleaning in Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.”

“What did you do?” the other nuns asked.

“Well, of course I threw them in the trash.”

The second nun said: “Well, I can top that. I was in Father’s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!”

“Oh my!” gasped the other nuns.

“What did you do?” they asked.

“I poked holes in all of them!” she replied.

The third nun fainted.

Three nuns
Three nuns

Смотреть далее | 12.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Jewish Atheist

On the Upper West Side of NYC lived an assimilated Jew who was now a very militant atheist. But he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it’s a great school, and completely secular. After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, “By the way Dad, do you know what Trinity means? It means the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” The father can barely control his rage. He seizes his son by the shoulders and declares, “Danny, I’m going to tell you something now and I want you never to forget it. There is only one God… and we don’t believe in him!”

 Jewish Atheist

Смотреть далее | 11.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

The jewish joke

Old Rabbi Wolfson was begging his board of directors to buy a new chandelier for the synagogue. Pleading for more than an hour, he sat down sullen and hopeless in his ambition to acquire a chandelier. Then the elder president of the board stood up. ‘What’re we wasting time talkin’ for?’ he said rhetorically. ‘Foist of all, a chandelier, … we ain’t got nobody who could even spell it. Second, we ain’t got nobody who could even play it. And third, what we need most in the synagogue is more light.’

The jewish joke

Смотреть далее | 10.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

For the sake of decency

The Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any skivvies?” Olaf demands.

“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any,” his wife replies.

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says: “For the sake of decency, here’s a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no panties.

“Blessed Virgin Mary, woman!” Patrick exclaims: “You’ve no knickers. Why not?”

She replies: “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.”

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says: “For the sake of decency, here’s a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

“Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?” he asks.

She too explains: “You dinna give me enough money to be able to affarrd any.”

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says: “Well, fer the love ‘o decency, here’s a comb… tidy yourself up a bit.”

For the sake of decency

Смотреть далее | 09.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

Poor Silver

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.

After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt and said “I do. Why?”

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside.”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it. Soon Silver was starting to feel better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe”, and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, “I do. What is wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy says to him, “Nothin’ much, I just wanted you to know….you left your Injun running.

Poor Silver

Смотреть далее | 08.02.2025 | Отправить ссылку друзьям

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