Question and answer blonde jokes

Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper Question and answer blonde jokes

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Топик Multiracial Families - Межрасовые семьи

Multiracial Families - Межрасовые семьи In Western culture, a typical family usually consists of a couple with their biological children. But some couples can't have their own children for different reasons and they choose to build a family through adoptions. Infertility is the main reason why men and women want to adopt children. Some couples have compassion for poor parentless children and adopt them for humanitarian reasons. Some believe that it is more responsible to take care of indigent children than to give birth to their own children. Some have to resort to adoption because of health problems. Adoption isn't just for childless people. Many families have biological children and choose to adopt as well. There are millions of children in the world in need of loving families and permanent homes. Nowadays the growing number of men and women adopt children from other countries including Third World countries. In recent decades international adoptions have become increasingly popular. International adoption means adopting a child from a foreign country. Many people are eager to adopt children and since there is more demand than supply within the country for adoptions, they are looking overseas to adopt. Adopting children from foreign countries couples hope that their children's natural parents will not interfere in their life. Most adopted children come from Ethiopia, China, Russia, Guatemala, South Korea and other countries. For example, Americans have adopted more than 200,000 children from overseas in the past 15 years. There are still many people who are skeptical about adoption. Some people are concerned about the genetic quality of adopted children and they believe that adoptees are predisposed to drug and alcohol problems as well as to behavior problems. Some adopted children have histories of maltreatment, physical and sexual abuse. Other people think that the absence of biological ties complicates parent-child relationships. The mass media is the primary source of information about adoption and it plays a role in the increased interest in international adoptions. Every time a Hollywood celebrity adopts a child, there is a great increase in enquires from people wishing to adopt. Among the celebrities who have adopted children from abroad are Josephine Baker, Mia Farrow, Dan Marino, Sharon Stone, Ewan McGregor, Meg Ryan, James Caviezel, and Julie Andrews. In the 2000s, the couples Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt and Madonna/Guy Ritchie drew public attention by adopting several children from Third World countries. In 2002, Jolie adopted her first child, seven-month-old Maddox Chivan. The star decided to apply for adoption after she had visited Cambodia twice. Jolie adopted a six-month-old girl from Ethiopia, Zahara Marley in 2005. In 2006 the famous actress gave birth to a daughter, Shiloh Nouvel, in Swakopmund, Namibia. In 2007, Jolie adopted a three-year-old boy from Vietnam, Pax Thien. Jolie gave birth to twins, a boy, Knox Leon, and a girl, Vivienne Marcheline in Nice, France in 2008. In her interview for People Magazine Angelina Jolie has said, 'Most of the night I just thought about how quickly I want to adopt again. It's a very special thing. There's something about making a choice, waking up and travelling somewhere and finding your family. ... There are so many wonderful places. There are many parts of Asia, Africa, South America, so sooner or later I'll end up everywhere, I'm sure.' In 2006 Madonna decided to adopt a boy named David Banda Mwale from Malawi. The procedure was complicated by the fact that Malawian law requires prospective parents to reside in Malawi for one year before adopting. There was a storm of controversy as some people were sure that Madonna's application received special status because of her celebrity. The adoption was finalized in 2008. Many families who adopt children should understand that love is not enough to make their family united and happy. They should also respect their children's cultural heritage and teach them the history, traditions and language of their native country. Adoption has quite an impact on modern society changing its structure and people's attitude to racial barriers. Adam Pertman, an adoption expert, has said, 'Suddenly there are Jews holding Chinese cultural festivals at synagogues, there are Irish people with their African American kids at St Patty's Day. This affects whole communities, and as a consequence our sense of who we are, what we look like, as a people, as individual peoples. These are profound lessons that adoption is teaching us.' Robin Givens, American actress and director

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Dogs and Light Bulbs

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark... Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch. Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there! Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb? Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again? Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb? Dogs and Light Bulbs

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Misunderstanding multiculturalism - Непонимание в межнациональных отношениях

Misunderstanding multiculturalismх ... Multiculturalism simply does not mean what most of its critics think. The original home of multiculturalism is Canada. Canadian philosophers and policy-makers have done most to define and elaborate the concept, since Canada is quintessentially an immigrant society. There, multiculturalism does not mean, and has never meant, different cultural and ethnic groups being left alone to get on with whatever activities they choose. It actually means the opposite. Policy-making in Canada stresses active dialogue between cultural groups, active attempts at creating community cohesion, and the acceptance of overarching Canadian identity. As a leading Canadian writer, Will Kymlicka, puts it, multiculturalism in Canada 'encourages the members of different immigrant groups to interact, to share their cultural heritage, and to participate in common educational, economic, political and legal institutions'. Canada adopted its official 'multicultural policy' in 1971. That policy-orientation has long stressed that language tests, citizenship ceremonies and oaths are axiomatic for immigrants. Such demands are wholly uncontroversial, among the host population as well as migrants: indeed they are widely welcomed as a sign of mutual commitment. Some Canadian-style policies, such as citizenship ceremonies, have been introduced with success in the UK... Anthony Giddens guardian.co.uk, Saturday 14 October 2006 Misunderstanding multiculturalism

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The Feline Diet

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck! DAY ONE Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room. Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house. Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die. Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning. DAY TWO Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it. Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf. Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed. Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room. DAY THREE Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find. Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with. Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor. FINAL DAY Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow. Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon. Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard. The Feline Diet

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Quotations about multiculturalism - Цитаты о межнациональных отношениях

Quotations about multiculturalism It has been said that arguing against globalization is like arguing against the laws of gravity. (Kofi Annan) Our cultural diversity has most certainly shaped our national character. (Julie Bishop) Discrimination is a disease. (Roger Staubach) Accordingly, globalization is not only something that will concern and threaten us in the future, but something that is taking place in the present and to which we must first open our eyes. (Ulrich Beck) And each of us can practice rights ourselves, treating each other without discrimination, respecting each other's dignity and rights. (Carol Bellamy) Without culture, and the relative freedom it implies, society, even when perfect, is but a jungle. (Albert Camus) I plead for conservation of human culture, which is much more fragile than nature herself. We needn't destroy other cultures with the force of our own. (Arthur Erickson) Quotations about multiculturalism

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A little boy

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: #1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President. #2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. #3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. #4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. #5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. "Now, think about that and see if it makes sense." So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class, while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit." A little boy

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Love - What other people say about wonderful feeling - Любовь - Что другие люди говорят о прекрасном чувстве

What other people say about wonderful feeling There are a lot of definitions of love. Love is the poetry of the senses. (Honore de Balzac) Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. (Voltaire) Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. (Peter Ustinov) Love is a game that two can play and both win. (Eva Gabor) Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. (Robert Frost) Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. (H. L. Mencken) Love is being stupid together. (Paul Valery) Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. (Leo Buscaglia) Love is the beauty of the soul. (Saint Augustine) What other people say about wonderful feeling

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